Last month in Blue Springs, Misery, um, we mean, Missouri, Melinda Abell went beyond the call of duty during a domestic violence incident with her boyfriend, Marlon Brando Gill. According to reports, Police Sgt. Steve Decker arrived on the scene at five in the morning, after receiving a call that the woman wasn't breathing.
While the couple was fighting, Gill demanded his cell phone. When Abell refused to comply, Gill grabbed her by the mouth and shoved the cell phone in, until it became lodged in her throat. Why didn't she just speed dial 911 with her tongue? We're guessing that emergency dispatch would've only heard labored breathing, thought it was a prank call and hung up.
This ringy-dingy gal was rushed to the emergency room. Surgeons had to remove the phone. Although the hospital says she will make a full recovery, the couple's prognosis may not be as good. Kansas City prosecutors have charged Gill with felony assault, and he might even lose those anytime minutes on his plan. Behind bars we hope his cell phone gets him noticed, if Abell is able to reprogram the ringtone to play Ricky Martin's "She Bangs."
Wouldn't this be a great cell phone
to give to battered women
who are victims of abusive men
and domestic violence?
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